knots

She loops the string around her fingers, over and under she weaves, releasing one piece, pulling another taut.

Some days I feel a bit like her string.  All tied up.  And not nearly as artistically displayed.

Invitations to a party catered by stress.  No thank you, don’t think I’ll attend.

If only it were THAT straight forward.  Knots don’t just appear.  They are formed one choice, one deliberate motion, one reaction at a time.

She pulls the string tight, lets it loose, looping it around fingers and wrists. With tension applied, the knot emerges.

This week: I’ve had run away children (5 in total), financial crises still unresolved, hurting hearts screaming for attention, internal mutinies and threats, hospital runs and a line of need stretched clear out our gate.

I can feel the strings of my heart being pulled and looped and set up for impending tangle.  My mind racing, one seeming crisis piling on top of the last seeming crisis.

But isn’t crisis a choice?  Isn’t what I let happen to my heart strings a choice?  I want to choose to live inside of Christ, not in crisis.  But my desire and my day sometimes clash.

She twists her wrists, the string complies slipping over and through, around and between.

Whose fingers hold my heart strings?  My own?  If I try and control my world, order it safe and predictable, they do.

Or do I let Him hold the strings of my heart and set them free?

In one motion, over and under, the knot dissolves… as she lets go.

I am learning to do likewise.  LET GO, LET Him hold the strings of my heart.  And confidently decline invitations to parties catered by stress.

Dear friends, I have recently imported all my blogging posts into this one place.  So if we have just met and you are curious about my previous wanderings on this unpaved road, you might enjoy looking at past posts as far back to 2006.  As I can I will be cleaning them up a bit as their journey through cyberspace caused them to become a bit disheveled in places.  But in the meanwhile please overlook their dust and clutter. 🙂