in the waiting

waiting-3I pass by her every day for weeks.  She has been here longer than I have.  She watched me move in, watched me manhandle boxes and bags and shopping and some days just myself back and forth from my front door to the parking lot.

She sits wings spread over her eggs, guarding what is not yet seen and all it will become.  Nestled between bushes and the wall of my apartment building, never moving, she guards that which is most precious, shielding her little ones from tropical storms, curious children and footpath traffic.  Daring anyone to touch her babies.  I creep in close with my camera and she turns on high alert pursing her beak as if to say, “Really, just go ahead and try it sweetheart.”  She stares me down.  I know a little how she feels.

To have guarded and nurtured and waited long for a dream, a promise to come to full term and be birthed.  The raw determination and fierce love it takes to sit still in the middle of the storm’s fury guarding that which is most vulnerable, most precious. Refusing to be moved by cascading circumstance.  Oh sweet mama duck, I totally get it.  The nights I have held my South Sudan family in my heart in prayer and watered the ground there with my tears.  And if the enemy dares to think he can get away with touching even a hair on one of my babies heads, oh no he can’t.  If the he knew what God will one day do and testimony we will have because of it, he would not even try.

In the middle of the wind and rain and mud and thunder and bluster, I crawl up and press closer still to Jesus.  Hide under His wings.  And trust He has us all.  Every single one of us. All 111+ children and staff.  Every need.  Every situation. Every challenge. Every single detail.  All tucked up together under His wings right next to His heart.

Breathe deep.  Lean in.  Selah.

PS Here is just a peek at my new little nest.  Still organizing in between clients, meetings and Mt. Everest sized to do lists.  More photos coming of this space where even more dreams are being birthed as we speak.  God is so good!  I have to say I am particularly enamored by my coffee table layout.  And I have a fireplace!  And view of the water.  Everything I asked for in a little layout that is me to a T.  So grateful to Jesus.