Barely a Year Ago

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It is hard to believe that barely a year ago a violent transition started.  It has not been even one whole year yet since countries and addresses and organizations changed, me watching it all unfold like a summer storm that blusters and crackles, unleashes fury and then is gone.  It took me months to find my bearings and months longer to even begin to let my heart believe I had found them.

Now.  Not even a year after my world changed, specialists are still trying to figure out what exactly is going on with my health, beyond the “unknown tropical fever of African origins.”  It looks like I’m also dealing with long-term affects of repeated cerebral malaria, my nerves not being what they once were. But I am putting one foot in front of the other, so to speak, moving forward ever so slowly.

I have a puppy.  Almost.  She is still getting old enough to come home with me.  Her name is Gracie and she is a Yorkie/Poodle blend hand-painted by Jesus just for me.  I prayed for her and saw Him painting white on black before she was born, right where she is so beautifully marked.

I spent much of the last 7 years with babies on my lap or by my side and truth be told- they were the reason I got out of bed many mornings. My body has been challenging for years now.  I need a little life that needs me to get up to have the incentive on the hard days to push past my physical obstacles.  She is in no way meant to be a replacement to my babies, no one could do that and certainly not a puppy.  But she is a new blessing from heaven for this season. And I am counting down the days until I get to bring her home.

I’ve applied to grad school.  It’s an online program that will take me from MA to PhD in organizational development and leadership.  All going as planned, I will start this fall.

I am in the process of really leaning in for strategy from heaven about how to grow my consulting firm so that it becomes a vehicle of showing God’s love to the leaders it serves. It is ministry I still can do even on days I never get out of my pajama bottoms.  I have started to consult for friends regarding broad communications strategies as well as specific editing, position paper/proposal writing, branding and the like.  One is serving with her family in Guatemala and the other in various international diplomatic circles fighting for human rights and protection of minority religions in places where believers are actively persecuted. I am so honored to be able to serve these ladies and all of my clients as they are changing the world around them.

My life has changed.  Radically.  I no longer have super adventurous stories from Africa to tell, just simple every day ones. Raw struggles to hold on to faith and His promises for my own journey while still in the middle of this bend in the road where I seem to know less today than yesterday.  All I can say is by grace, I take one step and then another, without clear understanding right now where it all leads, just enough glimmer for the step I am on. But that is what faith looks like. Trust when you cannot see the unpaved road ahead.

So grateful for all your love and prayers.  Thank you, friends.