Three years ago I had just walked through the most devastating season of my life. My health crashed forcing me to move back to my hometown in Florida. It has been a three year battle to get my life back from the long term repercussions (some of which are still ongoing) of 18 cases of cerebral malaria in 7 years. The hardest thing I ever had to do was love enough to let go.
If I am brutally honest, there were many days I wondered why on earth I was still here and part of me wished I wasn’t. Dreaming was terrifyingly overwhelming having just lost so much. I was standing in the darkest night my soul has experienced and all I could do was hold on that dawn would one day come. Or someone would hand me a flashlight.
This year has been tumultuous to say the least. But as I began to move in and settle into this new house, it felt like the dawn has finally started to rise and the Son has healing in His wings. I feel like Jesus built this house 20 years ago knowing one day I would live in it. The grave that became my cave is now a brave new day. Gratitude is too small a word.
I want to encourage you who have dreamed big dreams from God’s heart and for whatever reason have had to let them go, the dream is so often a seed for the unimaginably more God has. When we refuse to release the seed back to Him, we are refusing to receive the tree God sees growing out of that seed. We hold onto little and in so doing miss the immeasurably more God has.
I carried my art studio in a suitcase and lived in my office for nearly a decade. For the first time in 10 years I have an office/studio I can close the door on and be separate from. This house in every way is a miracle. From how God provided for it, to the incredible outpouring of love to fix it up and help with the move, to its location- right down to the fact I love a little street noise in the background.
So much more to come. But I just wanted to say hi from my dream studio and house. Beloved, don’t settle for the seed… trust Him for the tree.