Waiting For Dawn


I won’t lie.  It has been a long night these last 3 years.  But like any night, one moment light rises and pushes it back.

I have so much to share.  I have even more I cannot yet share.  I’ve seen pits of corruption in places you would least expect to find it.  Or at least where I least expected to find it.  I’m not here to point fingers or cast blame. I’m not here rehash and rehearse the litany of every wrong I faced and how hard it was.  I don’t want to stare back into the night and miss the beautiful sunrise God is painting in the sky.

Love covers a multitude of sins.  But it isn’t gag order.

It is high time, Church, we start a conversation how, in many cases, we have wandered far from the heart of God.  And how we find our way back to the place where HE and He alone is King.

I want to share candidly parts of my experience that are instructive as we journey toward wholeness.  I will not be naming names or ministries.  This is not an expose and I want to treat those who played roles with the same grace I would like to treated if the tables were turned.  In some cases, grace I was not afforded.   I am responsible for my choices before Jesus.  I am not responsible for theirs.

If you have been with me for a while or know my history you might be able to figure some things out. Let me encourage you not to try.  It’s more than irrelevant in terms of our conversation. It’s a distraction.  Please simply soak in the lessons Jesus has to teach and don’t worry about the who or the where or the when beyond what I share.  Deal?

Spiritual abuse in the Church is real and alarmingly present.  Healthy, wholehearted leadership is surprisingly scarce. But this is not a witch hunt. Ministry leadership is one of the hardest job descriptions possible.   Leaders are human.  We make mistakes.  We have issues like anyone else.  We are growing and changing.  I am not talking about simple mistakes or immaturity or imperfect humanity.  When I use the term spiritual abuse, I am talking about core levels of systemic brokenness that leads to ongoing patterns of behavior and belief that wound hearts and lives and in so doing, misrepresent the heart of Jesus.

I have a passion to take all that I have learned, experienced and walked through these last 20 years, as well as what I keep learning, and pour that into a new generation of leaders.  I’m not sure what that will look like exactly as of now.  But I am excited to face the dawn and walk with the Son rising with healing in His wings to find out.

Friend, I am so glad we get to watch the Son rise together.  Always remember.  You.  Are. Loved.